[ Okay. First step done. The first step is traditionally the hardest one, but Stede finds that it may have been the easiest thing to break off. The rest is stuck as some odd congealed mass. It wants to get out all at once even though the shape is unfamiliar in his throat.

He can't look at Ed's open face for as long as he might normally like. ]

There's something wrong with me.

[ Which is less of a confession and more admitting to what he already knew. ]

I thought maybe I could change it, or leave it behind, but it only came with me. Or it is me. So I only wound up ruining things. I didn't even think twice.

[ Him in general, he guesses. Soft. Stupid. So caught up not wanting to drown that he didn't let himself think about what he left to sink. ]

I left my family and I didn't even talk to them about it. I've gotten people killed. I'm always getting my crew into trouble because I don't know what I'm doing. Ed, it's my fault you had to give up everything. All because I couldn't-- all because I wanted to-- [ Be happy.

But that really would be a stupid thing to say. ]

I'm just a plague.

[ A thing that happens to people.

He always did hate when a Badminton had a point. ]