[Ed says it more like he's trying to convince himself, because he is. He wrenches a laugh from somewhere black and accusing, pure Blackbeard.]
Now you want to talk! Now you...
[Ed staggers a single step forward. He pants and feels himself rocked with fresh outrage. New anger. It feels so fucking real; nothing like the arguments he constructs in his head, where they tread the same ground every time.
(Where Ed gets to say everything he wanted to say. Where he doesn't shake or embarrass himself. Where he wins the interaction.
He imagines a miracle resurrection from death where they kiss as often as he imagines telling Stede he never cared for him at all. Deep down, he knows which one he wanted more.)
Reality is him gaping at Stede, mouth dry and eyes wet, sobriety creeping nastily in at the edges of his brain. Nothing like realizing the love of your life and source of your worst grief isn't actually dead to kill your buzz.]
They said you were dead. [God, but he's glad he's not-] You should have fucking stayed that way. [-because he missed him. Because now he can-]
no subject
[Ed says it more like he's trying to convince himself, because he is. He wrenches a laugh from somewhere black and accusing, pure Blackbeard.]
Now you want to talk! Now you...
[Ed staggers a single step forward. He pants and feels himself rocked with fresh outrage. New anger. It feels so fucking real; nothing like the arguments he constructs in his head, where they tread the same ground every time.
(Where Ed gets to say everything he wanted to say. Where he doesn't shake or embarrass himself. Where he wins the interaction.
He imagines a miracle resurrection from death where they kiss as often as he imagines telling Stede he never cared for him at all. Deep down, he knows which one he wanted more.)
Reality is him gaping at Stede, mouth dry and eyes wet, sobriety creeping nastily in at the edges of his brain. Nothing like realizing the love of your life and source of your worst grief isn't actually dead to kill your buzz.]
They said you were dead. [God, but he's glad he's not-] You should have fucking stayed that way. [-because he missed him. Because now he can-]
Draw your weapon.